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BECAUSE I SAID SO: Tiger's sexy affair comes as no surprise

Jodi Bryans, LondonTopic.ca Comment Send to Friend
12/02/2009

Jodi Bryans
Yes, I am disgusted to find out the truth about Tiger's extracurriculars, but I'm not the least bit surprised. Phil Mickelson must have choked on his cornflakes this morning when he heard the news. He finally has one way-up on Tiger.

Men cheating on their wives has been a long-standing, rampant, mostly-accepted pastime for centuries – always has been, always will be.

According to the website the authorsden.com, a recent study revealed that "50 to 60 per cent of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship."


These percentages only represent the men who actually admit they've cheated. And with numbers like these, it's a wonder any modern-day marriage of reasonable length could possibly come through unscathed from beginning to end without having shared one's husband with another woman.

With all this cheating going on within marriages, who is really the one at fault – the husband or the wife?

During a panel discussion on the Today Show in March 2008, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, psychologist and popular radio personality, said women share the blame for their cheating men.

"When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he's very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs," she said.

Dr. Laura is never one to stray from controversy and I tend to follow in her footsteps.

To all the women out there who are likely to fling themselves down and throw the covers over their head and cry, "I'm an innocent victim. I did nothing wrong. How could he do this to me?"

Buck up. You likely saw it coming, so pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on to greener, cheat-free pastures. There is life after the affair and don't fall into the "victim" trap. You're just another statistic on the majority, cheating side now.

No one wants to hear the poor-me whining for long. Once the initial, juicy gossip about the actual affair fizzles, the wife is the only one who will really deal with the pain, embarrassment and consequences the affair leaves behind on her doorstep. Let's face it -- the husband got what he wanted all along.

So why do men cheat on their wives? The experts have come up with oodles and oodles of explanations and excuses justifying why cheating men do what they do. However, I think the bottom line is two things – they do it because they can and they do it because they honestly believe they'll never get caught.

Besides, wives let them off the hook all the time. Take a look at Hillary Clinton or David Letterman's wife, Michelle Cook – doormats.

These ladies have both done nothing but a dishonour to all women who have and will be cheated on by not having the strength, confidence or balls to leave. They put up with it, so they will continue to live in the misery of an unhappy, dishonest marriage. That is their sentence.

One of the top ten reasons why husbands cheat is because the wife "has allowed it in the past," the authorsden.com website says.

For 31 months Tiger carried on an affair with a cocktail waitress name Jamiee Grubbs. That's an awful long time for his wife, Elin Nordegren, not to know something was up. Did she just allow it to happen? Maybe she just kept a blind eye to it all. She won't be able to anymore.

"In this week's issue of Us Weekly Grubbs details their 31-month affair. She reveals that they first hooked up in April 2007, and went on to have 20 sexual encounters. She also shares her evidence, including photos and more than 300 racy text messages. One from Woods begins: "I will wear you out…," Us Magazine's website says.

I can just image how much money grubby Grubbs is making off with by providing Us Magazine the exclusive story about the affair – cha-ching! It's time to cash in. Tiger was a fool to think this woman would keep his dirty little secret forever. Everybody has a price and Grubbs being a cocktail waitress just won the lottery.

It will be interesting to see what Elin does about this sexy new information currently steaming up the Internet lines worldwide. Will she have the balls to leave him? Or will she step in line like the good-little-wife and follow in Hillary and Michelle's footsteps?

Either way, Elin will have to make a choice and that choice will be entirely up to her. But how she chooses to handle this situation will finally give the world some insite into this extremely private woman. Her actions will be all-telling.

As we watch this story unfold – and this story will be beaten to death by the media – think long and hard of the lasting affects an affair can have on a marriage and on a family. Do the right thing. You know they'll do it again -- because they can and because I said so.

-- -- -- --

Jodi Bryans is a London resident and writer. She has well over a decade of print and online journalism and advertising experience. She was born in London, Ontario, and grew up on a farm north of the city. Contact Jodi by e-mail (see link). Opinions are those of the author.



Comments:
Well... this cheating scenario is a two-way street. Today, more women are going down this infedility highway than was ever seen before. So lets get off the man bashing train and look at this thing objectively. I wonder if Tiger's wife ever had an opportunity to get down and dirty with ... the pool boy... the mailman... or maybe the telephone repair dude? Who knows for sure. The point is, men are not alone in the cheating department.
By: S. Peckinpaw on 12/02/2009


Always enjoy Jodi's comments. There is always a trade-off. Hilary probably realized that her political capital was worth more if she was seen as the forgiving wife. This is not to say that she would not have been justified in doing so. The same goes for Letterman's wife. The lifestyle to which his millions have accustomed her is obviously more important to her than her self-esteem. For that reason I do not see Elin leaving Tiger. His millions give her a lifestyle she could only previously dream about unless, Tiger was dumb enough not to have her sign a pre-nup and gets taken to the cleaners.
By: LEGAL BEAGLE on 12/03/2009


Legal Beagle.. u forget that his wife Elin is famous in her own right.. maybe not filthy rich like tiger, but shes done alright her self. jodi jodi jodi.. I am disappointed! you say 60 percent of married men have cheated at some point, but who did they cheat with?? Other married women of course! (unless they are all driven gay by their nagging wives.. who knows). I think in generally people are more selfish than at any other point in history and want instant glorification. both women and men are guilty of this, but men seem to take all the blame. I have to agree with you that I'm not surprised Tiger was screwing around.. but at the same time nothing like this surprises me anymore.
By: jeff on 12/03/2009


Damn... Tiger, I was a huge fan before but now... You are my friggin hero!!!! Can anybody say, "It's in the hole!!!!"
By: Birdie Bill on 12/03/2009


Tell me she didn't just quote that nutcase Laura Schlessinger.
By: Comment |Cassie on 12/03/2009


Let's first comment on the article - WOW is it ever man bashing. You can quote all the stats you want, but when it comes down to it, regardless of gender, people cheat! It's sad, it's hurtful, and it's not right. But millions of people do it daily. I'm not defending these people, I just don't think Tiger or Letterman or any other famous person is acting any different then the mailman, or cable guy... OR GIRL! I agree that when someone cheats they're probably not happy in the relationship, but I strongly disagree that it's a wife's duty to keep her man feeling like a man and give him sex so he can find the willpower to stay in the relationship without straying! That kind of thinking it outdated and belongs in a 1950's issue of Redbook!... Women have rights and it is not our job to keep men feeling like men! Nor is it a man's job to make a women feel like a women! Lastly, I'd like to comment on Jeff's comment... It seems we are mostly on the same thinking as far as who shares responsibility. I love your comment reminding us all that Elin is a strong successful women in her own right. I do have a beef with your comment "unless they are all driven gay by their nagging wives...who knows". Why did you feel it necessary to add something about being gay into this article/ comment? Would these men be less by being gay? In todays world of ever changing families and diversity, off the cuff comments like this confuse and anger me. Your comment could hurt a gay man or women or the child of same sex couples... At what point is society going to get over themselves and the hetero state of mind and just except that we "gay, queer etc.." people exsist? That we are just as worthy as hetero people, and deserve the same consideration? Jeff, you're not the only one with comments like this and I mean you no disrespect. I just wish comments like yours no longer exsisted on a public form. Thank you all & have a great day!!
By: KT on 12/03/2009


hey KT... my comment was a joke to suggest that Jodi shouldnt use a figure suggesting men cheat, and then completely ignore the other side. The suggestion that maybe those 60% of men turned gay, thus verifying that authors lack of mentioning womens role, was an absurd suggestion attempting to bring some humour to the issue. I can see why some gay individuals wouldn't want to be associated with cheating married men.. but drop the political correctness police please. Not sure how anyone could read what I wrote and assume I am suggesting gay people are not worthy of the same consideration as straight people? Stop making this about gay rights, this is about sexism against men! sheesh
By: jeff on 12/04/2009


I am sure that Jodi is well aware that this is certainly a two way street. People start cheating for a reason or reasons. it doesn't make it right, but certainly issues build up and lead to infidelity. People really need to work hard on their relationships or acknowledge with their partners it isn't working and agree to terminate them. At least with Tiger, he isn't denying it and is admitting he did wrong. That might actually help him rebuild his marriage since he is willing to give up golf to work on it.
By: GL on 12/14/2009




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